Five Things John Notices About Rodney
by Anastasia Kaliska Dyani Malfoy
Summary: John notices the weirdest things about his teammate.


Five Things John Notices About Rodney (And It Drives John Crazy Thinking About It)

Rodney drinks his coffee like he's having sex.

John watched as Rodney took his cup of coffee and inhaled the steam coming from the top of it. John tried looking away, he really did. But sometimes you look at something and for the life of you, you cannot look away. Like when you see a wreck happening, you have to stick around to see what happens next, even though you know it's gonna be bad.

He watched as Rodney took his first sip then moaned quietly to himself. He watched as Rodney stared into his coffee cup like the answers to their problems lied in there. John glanced around the cafeteria to see if anyone had noticed Rodney quietly having an orgasm at the table. No one was even paying attention to them.

John looked down at his plate and poked at the green stuff that wiggled back at him and sighed. Then Rodney moaned again, exactly how he would sound if someone licked his neck. And stroked his dick gently at the same time. John could almost picture himself doing that Rodney. Maybe add in a little hip movement too.

He put his head in his hands and tried not to cry.

Rodney asks annoying questions but they never bother John.

"So do you really think you can beat me?"

"Not really Rodney."

"Why does no one understand my genius around here?"

"They will Rodney."

"Did you know that Radek is making alcohol?"

"Didn't have a clue Rodney."

"The Ancients really were pretty stupid weren't they?"

"Whatever you say Rodney."

"No seriously, they were! You agree with me don't you?"

"Of course Rodney."

"Will you stop cheating damnit?"

"Not a cheater Rodney."

"Why does your hair continue to defy the laws of gravity?"

"It does not Rodney."

"Will you quit answering all my questions like your placating me with your answers?"

John smirked and looked up from the chess board. "Probably not, Rodney."

His smirk grew as Rodney grumbled to himself and moved his king out of check.

Rodney has the perfect blue eyes.

Rodney has this little thing where he will glare at everyone in a 5 mile radius if he doesn't get his way till his way has been established. But the thing is, John always loves those moments because as he sees Rodney's eyelids lowering to dangerous levels all he can think about is when Rodney finally gets his way – and he always gets it in the end – he lets out this little laugh and smiles brightly. But his eyes. They get bigger than normal and almost seem to sparkle. You can almost taste the blue in his eyes if that makes any sense. Which John tells himself it does not. He will look at anyone happily – except Kavanaugh. There isn't that much happiness anywhere for that. – and his words seem to overflow from his mouth at FTL speed. It almost looks as if Rodney wouldn't mind jumping like a little girl and clapping his hands. He doesn't of course. Though it would totally make John's day if he did. John wishes in those moments that Rodney would only look at him.

Rodney can be truly adorable when he wants to be.

Rodney let out a sigh as he slowly got out of his seat next to John. And he was just about to protest, because Rodney had been keeping him warm damnit, when he actually took a moment to watch Rodney get up. The movie was going through the credits anyway. And it wasn't like he hadn't heard the song before.

Rodney's shoulders rolled back as he arched, his back cracking in two places. He let out another one of his orgasm sighs then stretched his arms above his head, not noticing his shirt riding up his stomach.

John noticed.

He cracked his knuckles above his head and turned to look at John with the most adorable sleepy look that made John want to snatch him off to bed and wrap himself around him. It took too much willpower to stay seated casual like he was.

Rodney tilted his head and blinked slowly. "I'm going to sleep because my big brain needs a rest and who am I to deny it what it wants?"

"Who you? You'd never do such a thing Rodney."

John snickered as Rodney rolled his eyes. Letting his arms fall back against his sides, Rodney gave a little yawn which made John crack. Just a little.

"How about I take you to your room? You look like you might faint on the way."

Rodney, who had been slowly drifting to sleep standing right where he is, shifted a bit and gave a small glare. "Men don't faint."

"Men who look like they need to be tucked in do." John stated as he stood up next to Rodney and took his arm lightly. Rodney didn't even fuss, just leaned into John's side and made a soft noise as he tucked his head against John's chest, eyes closing at a fast rate. John led him from the room and walked slowly to Rodney's room, silently thanking Atlantis on the way for dimming the lights on their way. Rodney was so adorable, trying to snuggle in closer even though they were walking through the halls and could probably be spotted by anyone at any given moment.

They reached his room far too soon for John's liking.

He refused to let go of Rodney, who didn't seem to mind because he was practically falling asleep on John. John knew that if he didn't get Rodney in his bed soon, come morning Rodney would be bitching up a storm about his back pains or something no one besides John liked to hear about. So he started to let go but Rodney latched on to his arm and looked at him through sleepy eyes.

"Tuck me in?"

John almost choked on his tongue. But he nodded and led Rodney to his 3 comforter set complete with prescription mattress bed. Rodney sat down on it slowly and stared at John as he untied his boots and slipped them off his feet.

John pulled back the heavy blankets and watched as Rodney slid himself under them. Pulling them up to his chin, John gave into the urge that had been bugging him all night and pressed a kiss to Rodney's forehead. Hopefully he wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow.

Rodney cuddles. He cuddles A LOT.

John didn't find out that Rodney was the Master of Cuddling until their 30th or something offworld mission. Yeah, they had stayed at other planets overnight before but they had never been sleeping in the same bed together. John was usually to strung up to sleep the way he wanted to anyway, so he stayed up most of the night. Just watching his team sleep.

On this planet however, the people were very adamant about them sleeping in pairs. John thought that odd but he had seen, and done, stranger so he shrugged it off and told Ronon to sleep with Teyla and that he'd bunk with Rodney. Rodney had stuttered and shook his hands wildly, but in the end the rooms were handed out, the beds made and Rodney was exhausted so they went to their room to get some much needed shut eye.

They were greeted by one bed.

John had a quick moment where he wondered how well Ronon and Teyla might have been taking this before Rodney gathered up everything on one side of the bed and dropped it on the floor, putting together a makeshift bed fairly quickly. He toed off his shoes and did his stretching thing that never failed to make John happy, in more ways than one.

"Well…goodnight Colonel." Rodney said then he settled down on the bed, getting comfortable. John looked at the makeshift bed on the floor and scooped it all up, dumping it back on the bed before taking off his boots and climbing on in with him.

Rodney freaked, turning over so quick that John had to grab him before he tumbled out of the bed. When John grabbed him Rodney smacked his hands away and tried to push him out. John frowned, shaking him. "What the hell are you doing Rodney?"

Rodney stopped trying to push him out and lay there, inching away from him slowly. John opened his mouth to ask why when Rodney suddenly blurted out, "I cuddle Colonel!" He slapped his hands over his mouth so fast, John thought he knocked himself out.

"You what?"

Rodney stared at him fearfully, lowering his hands a bit so he could talk properly. "I…um…cuddle. A lot. That's why I made your bed on the floor. So you won't think an octopus is trying to strangle you while you sleep or anything."

John twisted his body around and stared at Rodney. His blue eyes were gazing back at him strangely, like he thought…

"What? You think I'm gonna hit you or something? Just because you cuddle me?"

Rodney lifted his chin up in defiance, even though they both knew that was the case. "No Colonel. I didn't want your pea brain mind to think I was coming on to you because of the cuddling. It's just something I do."

"Then why don't you sleep on the floor? Since you're the cuddler and all."

Rodney snorted. "And mess up my already damaged back? You're a tough guy. You can handle it."

John shook his head as he settled down next to Rodney, ignoring his requests to get the hell out of the bed.

"But Colonel I really think you should-"

"Good night Rodney."

A few minutes passed before Rodney tried again.

"It really would be in your best interest to just-"

"Rodney." John said in his 'listen to me and you will live' voice.

Rodney quieted down after that.

Hours later john woke up because if felt like a dolphin had mated with an octopus and it's offspring was currently draped around his entire body. John could only move his head and even that movement was limited. Straining to see in the darkness he saw that Rodney was definitely true to his word. He was wrapped around John like he was his favorite teddy bear and he was sure someone would come steal it in the night. And he was making weird fluttering noises, though that made no sense to John. But he couldn't describe it any better. Every so often a word would break out between the noises and the words were so random that it made John smile his 'Aww Rodney is so adorable' smile.

Turning towards Rodney as best he could with him clinging like he was, John put an arm around him and pressed closer to him, feeling Rodney's head fall into place under his chin.

He fell back asleep with a grin on his face.


End file.
